Secret Goodbye
by pseudocat
Summary: Hermione says goodbye...


Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. JK Rowling does. Lucky her.

Oh, and both main characters in this story may seem a little OOC but my fic needed that.

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**Secret Goodbye**

He had been watching for half an hour. The girl had been staring down at the gravestone, all that time, deep in thought. Finally, he decided to approach her. Noiselessly he drew near, hoping to surprise her, but he should have known better. No one can fool Hermione Granger. Without moving, she said, "You shouldn't be here."

He stopped, surprised, but then shook his head and smiled.

"How is it that you always know where I am?"

She ignored his question and repeated, "You shouldn't be here. You shouldn't have come. Why are you here?" She still hadn't moved.

He frowned and walked forward till they were standing side by side, looking down at the grave.

"I have as much right to be here as anyone else. He was my best friend after all."

She shook her head. " No, he wasn't. Not since you betrayed the Order."

"Ah, but you see, I didn't betray the Order. It's just that no one knows I haven't. Except two extremely wise and trustworthy, yet very annoying, people."

Now she frowned. "I'll have you know that those 'annoying' qualities of mine might have saved your sorry arse on more than one occasion." She paused for a moment."And you know that keeping your work a secret isn't what Dumbledore and I want. I'd be much happier if we could just tell Harry and get it over with. At the very least, it would stop him calling you a traitor. It hurts every time he says that."

He raised one eyebrow in mock surprise.

"Why, Granger, is it possible…that you….care?"

She finally turned to look at him and as she raised her head, he was shocked to see that she had tears in her eyes.

"Of course I care, you git! You're the closest thing I've had to family since I lost my own! I worry about you as much, if not more, than I worry about Harry!"

She swiped at her eyes furiously and smiled a bitter, little smile as she turned back to the grave. "Ironic, isn't it? Seven years of you calling me a mudblood and insulting my bloodline, and of all the bonds to choose from, we had to become family. And now, I have to lose my family all over again."

He felt a painful tug at his heart as he watched the strong young woman he had grown to love like a sister, try to control the tears that threatened to drop. And even as he watched, the pain in his heart increased, because he knew that what she was feeling right now, was nothing compared to the pain she would feel when she learned the truth about his visit.

She was speaking again, this time with a hint of desperation in her voice. And he knew what it must cost her to hold back the rest of her sorrow.

"You know you don't have to do this. The Burrow isn't that far away. Everyone will be there now for Blaise's…Blaise's….w-wake…you could still tell them. They'd understand…they would…" she was talking faster now as if that would convince him to stay.

He stepped forward and simply held his arms out, as she trailed off. She looked at him, and then walked into his hug. "Please, don't go." She whispered as she held on to his jacket.

He kissed her hair softly and said, " If I thought that telling a few more people about my role as a spy would make any difference, I would have done that long ago. But we agreed, didn't we, that that would be too much of a risk? It's better this way, you know that as well as I do."

" I don't – I _can't_ lose you as well. Blaise is gone, and Bill and R-Ron…I'm afraid that you're going to leave on some mission and never come back! I won't be able to handle that, I _won't_!"

He sighed. This wasn't how he wanted this to go. He didn't want to see how much his next words were going to hurt her.

"Hermione…" But she went on speaking. "You won't tell us what Voldemort's asking you do anymore! How can we help you out if you won't talk to us? You're drawing away, hiding things…you're worrying me! It's as if you don't want me to know something! Like….like you might die-" she suddenly stopped, looking horror struck at what she had just said. And then, just when his opportunity arose, he lost his nerve.

"Don't be ridiculous. What reason would I have to hide things from you?"

"You tell me! I can see, Draco! Whatever it is he's making you do is tearing you apart! And you won't tell me what it is!"

Suddenly he saw red. What did she want from him?

"What do you want to know, Hermione? Do you want to know how he picks us out of a crowd and sends us in teams to torture entire families in one night? Or do you want to know how horrible the screams of dying people sound? Do you want me tell you how painful it is to watch someone writhe and twist at your feet in agony, in their own blood, while knowing there's nothing you can do to ease their pain, not even cast the Death spell so they can finally escape, because some twisted maniac decides that you must cause them even more pain? There's plenty I could tell you, Hermione, I just choose not to, so that I can preserve what little shreds of sanity I have left!"

She was looking…scared? There was fear in her eyes…and when he looked closer he saw, it was fear of him. She was scared of him. Then he looked down and saw that he had unconciously held her hand in a tight grip. He let go, and she backed up a few steps and turned away from him.

"Mione…I'm…sorry…it's just…"

"It's okay…" she turned to him again. "I should have known better. I should be the one apologising."

He sighed and ran one hand through his hair as she looked back down at the grave.

"Draco? If…if you were sent somewhere…and you knew you wouldn't come back…you'd tell me, wouldn't you? If there was a way to save you…you'd let us save you….wouldn't you?"

He almost snorted. Talk about an opening.

"Hermione, what if I had to die so Harry's victory could be assured? Would you still save me? More to the point, do you think I'd let you?"

Slowly, she said, "Harry wouldn't want you to die for him, Draco. He – _we_ – would be much happier if you were alive. But if it were absolutely necessary…if there were no other way…is there?"

He almost smiled at that. No one can fool Hermione Granger.

"No, there isn't."

"Then…I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get so emotional."

He nudged her gently. "Hey you're a girl. I forgive you."

She looked up at him, her big brown eyes solemn. "Atleast promise me you won't die on purpose."

"I can't do that. If I have to save a life, mine has to be given on purpose, don't you think?"

"Draco…"

"This wasn't how it was supposed to go, you know."

"Oh? And how was it supposed to go then?"

"Well, first I'd tell you…that I love you. That you're probably the only person I know who counts as family. And then, I'd say…goodbye, Hermione. And then I'd leave."

She looked at him for a moment then turned to the grave. He could see her struggle to hold back tears and he didn't want to make it any worse then it already was. So he did what he had planned to all along.

He took a step back.

"I love you. You're the closest thing I've ever had to family."

He heard her take a long shaky breath, and suddenly all he wanted was to leave.

So he closed his eyes, and turned away.

"Goodbye, Hermione."

Her eyes widened and she spun around, one hand stretched out as if to hold on to him again, but it was too late. There was no one there.

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The girl stood there for a while more, then as she turned to leave, she saw someone coming towards her. The boy waved at her and stopped so she could catch up to him.

As she drew level, Harry Potter looked over her shoulder at the grave where she had been standing for so long.

"Hey, are you okay? What took you so long? Everyone's starting to get worried."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare anyone. I think I just lost track of time."

"It's alright. Don't worry about it. What were you doing there for so long, anyway?"

She stopped and turned back, looking past him, looking at something he couldn't see.

Then she looked up at him and gave him a small, sad smile.

"Oh, just saying goodbye to a dear friend."

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Yeah, that's it. I know Draco and Hermione were both a little OOC but I couldn't help it. Anyway…….review! review! REVIEW!


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